Work Your Fingers To The Bone and What Do You Get?

‘I can’t do it. I’ve got nothing left.’

It was early February. I was sitting in my cubicle at work, thinking ahead to yet another week packed with back-to-back-to-back meetings that would suck whatever fumes remained in my interpersonal gas tank, and the relentless torrent of emails that would scream for my attention, and the countless decisions that required focus and a high degree of executive function – and my brain, after over two years of sprinting this marathon, yelled loud enough to finally grab my attention. “No more!”

Three days later I started what would become a 3 month medical leave from work. I was burnt out.

Work your fingers to the bone and what do you get? Bony fingers.

Going cold turkey from the two jobs I had been doing for over 2 years was hard, good, restful, weird, and many other things. Layers of emotion and insight revealed themselves over the course of my leave.

Am I better now? Maybe. But definitely not healthy. I do have a better sense of the things that led to my burnout – things both internal and external. And I’m testing a few strategies to help me manage now that I’m back to work – only one job, and only half-time for now.

My return to work has been interesting, though largely uneventful. Shifting roles and responsibilities. Only working half time. Even half time work takes a lot out of me. How do I explain to others – colleagues, friends, family – the choices I have to make to manage this invisible illness? Choices that from the outside may seem inexplicable.

I struggle with the indefinite nature of healing. With a broken bone, you have a pretty good idea of the healing process and how long it will take. Not so with burnout. When I will be ‘back to normal?’ I don’t know. Maybe in 6 months. Maybe 3 years. Maybe never. This ambiguity is hard for me. It’s hard for my ego, my sense of identity, my career planning, and so much more.

Bony fingers, indeed.

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Comments

3 responses to “Work Your Fingers To The Bone and What Do You Get?”

  1. Heather Avatar
    Heather

    Hey Chris — thanks for sharing all this here, I’ve been thinking about it for a couple days. I’ll share that I went through something very similar before leaving my old position a couple years ago. I remember rocking back and forth on my bed at the prospect of going elsewhere and thinking is this the right decision? Am I ruining everything I’ve built for myself? Will I fit in somewhere else? And it was the best decision I made in the past few years. That insight you spoke about came to me after I left and I know now that had I stayed, I definitely wouldn’t have lasted much longer.. my self esteem and confidence was on a downward spiral and going nowhere good.

    I think what’s good about the folks you work with (the ones that matter anyways) is that you don’t need to explain much. It’s not hard to understand the crazy workload and pressure that magically became yours in a short period of time and then stuck like glue with no end in sight was too much, not sustainable and honestly, unfair. Putting yourself and your family first was the right decision and I’m happy you’re going back into things carefully and with boundaries. You deserve to like your job and be happy!! Take care and be well <3

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    1. Chris Avatar

      Hi Heather. Thanks for sharing – I’m glad your decision worked out so well for you. Yes, I do indeed work with some great people who understand – they’re the best things about the job!

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  2. […] than 2024; the increase is likely due to the extra time I had while off work this past year (see this post for more on […]

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